A place to begin

New here? Start with what feels familiar.

You don’t have to read this diary from the beginning, and you certainly don’t have to turn it into homework. It is a collection of personal experiences: addiction, recovery, difficult relationships, an occasionally uncooperative body and the things I have understood better after writing them down.

I’m Emma Marnie. I write about what life feels like from the inside, including the bits that do not fit neatly into a success story. There is humour here because difficult subjects are still part of ordinary life. There is also room to stop reading if something feels too close. Choose a starting point below, or browse the complete diary by topic.

If you are questioning your drinking

What Addiction Really Takes From a Person looks beyond the drink itself to the effect on identity, trust and relationships. It is a personal account rather than a definition of what everybody’s experience must look like.

The forty reflection questions bring together patterns that are easy to explain away separately. They are not a clinical screening tool and have no diagnostic score. You can use the questions to put concerns into words for a conversation with a qualified professional.

If you are sober and having a difficult day

When the Little Voice Comes Back is about an old urge returning when life is already difficult. Be Proud of Your Sobriety. Just Don’t Get Cocky. explores the difference between valuing progress and assuming that progress makes us invulnerable.

For a different mood, 13 Reasons to Stay Sober offers reminders about the everyday things recovery can protect. None of these entries asks you to compare your milestone with somebody else’s.

If the language of recovery puts you off

The Twelve Steps Without God describes my secular approach, while The 12 Steps, Translated into Human is my informal, sometimes sweary interpretation. These are accounts of an approach I found meaningful, not a claim that there is only one route to recovery.

If people keep telling you that you look fine

You Looked Fine to Me is about the gap between what other people see and what a seemingly ordinary hour can cost. When the Danger Is Over but Your Body Hasn’t Got the Memo explores my experience of trauma alongside physical illness, with links to clinical information for readers who want that distinction made clearly.

If you are learning to protect your time and energy

I Kept Myself Busy So I Didn’t Have to Feel considers what can hide behind apparently admirable productivity. The People Who Only Like You When You’re Easy to Control looks at what happens when familiar relationships resist new boundaries. Read either as one person’s reflection, with room for your own experience to be different.

Want to know who is writing? Meet Emma, read how the diary is written, or get in touch about the website.